Running Free
by Blaze Faula
Summary: Hermione writes in her diary about her past experiences with Draco Malfoy and how she fought him, her friends, and the odds to keep what she loved so dear. OotP Spoilers.
1. DADA

**Title:** Running Free   
**Author:** Blaze Faula   
**Pairing:** Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger   
  
**My First Entry: Defense Against the Dark Arts**   
  
_August 10, 1997   
Let them say I was insane. Let them say that I was under a spell. Let them say that I never knew what was happening. Let them say I was confused. All that may be true, but what does it matter now? I pity the world for what they can't see. I pity them for what they wouldn't see. All of them, blinded by their hatred for others. Fools. I was a fool, too. I believed in my heart that I could change the world. I thought I was smart enough. I thought I was brave enough. I thought I could take anything. Even after all the books I read I didn't know what I was up against.   
  
I'm not making sense to you am I, Diary? Well, it's going to make a lot of sense very soon. You, Diary, were given to me for the very purpose of letting everything I know out. I was told to tell you everything, to write my memoir. What memoir, I would ask them. They answered the same every time. Your reminisces. I want to reminisce nothing. I want to forget, but if I did forget who would learn from my experience? Who would remember what I tried so hard to achieve? No one would.   
  
So, Diary, I will do what they ask of me. I will tell my story the way I saw it. The way a story, this story, should be told. You will know what they didn't. You will see what they wouldn't. You will feel what I felt, what they would not accept. He would have wanted it this way. He would have wanted me to tell the truth. He wouldn't have wanted me to forget. He sacrificed more than I did. I can't forget that. I'll do this for him. I will write this story for him, for love, for hope, for everyone who will follow us._   
  
This story starts at the beginning of 6th year, on the train to Hogwarts. Ron was sitting next to me and Harry was across from us. His eyes kept looking down to my hand as we talked about the new teacher we weren't dying to meet.   
  
"I personally feel that . . . "   
  
_Wait! STOP! This can't continue. I won't tell this story as if it happened in the past. This story should be told in the present. Yes, it should be told in the present, in second person point of view, like in a fairy tale. Of course, is this a fairy tale? No, this could never be a story you tell to children. So, here goes, in the second person, present time:_   
  
"I personally feel that this new teacher is going to be someone handpicked by Dumbledore. After all the bad luck we've had with past teachers and with everyone realizing Voldemort. . .Ron please . . . has finally come back no one can afford a teacher who supports the Dark Arts. We need someone who knows what they're doing and is going to teach us to protect ourselves," Hermione said as she glanced at the rolling hills pass by.   
  
"You forget, Hermione, that no one wants the Defense Against the Dark Arts position," said Harry, unwrapping his chocolate frogs and still staring at Hermione's hand.   
  
"I haven't forgotten!"   
  
"I shus opee int liumbrid."   
  
"Ron, will you please swallow your food before you speak."   
  
"I said that I just hope he isn't like Umbridge," said Ron, his mouth now chocolate free.   
  
"Now that Fudge has accepted Voldemort's return . . . Ron if you don't stop that! . . . the Ministry probably won't interfere with Hogwarts anymore. And even if they do it will be a good thing I hope. They'll be encouraging us learning Defense Against the Dark Arts won't they?" Hermione asked, but Harry only shrugged his shoulders. This confused Hermione and she didn't like it. Usually the train ride to Hogwarts was a happy time for them, but Harry and Ron didn't seem happy. In fact, they seemed quite unhappy about it. Ron kept fidgeting in his seat and Harry was still staring at her hand. Finally Hermione gave in and looked and she saw why Harry was staring. Ron's fingers were a hair away from touching hers before he snapped them back when he realized she noticed. Ron's ears were a brighter red than Hermione had ever seen them. It took all that she had to stifle a laugh. She had been saved for the moment from having to say anything about it. Draco Malfoy and his two idiots had entered the compartment.   
  
"Well, well, who would have guessed you three would be together. Potty, Weasel, and the Mudblood. My Weasel you look a little embarrassed. Did Granger turn you down?" Malfoy drawled on.   
  
"Get out Malfoy, you aren't wanted!" Harry was on his feet now and shooting daggers at Malfoy. Ron stood beside him and pulled out his wand.   
  
"Touchy, aren't we? You both need to calm your tempers. It wouldn't be a fair fight, two against one."   
  
"You must need your eyes checked, Malfoy. It's three against three," Harry offered and it was then that Hermione looked up. She was still in deep thought about the new teacher, classes, and studying for N.E.W.T.S (which weren't until next year) that she hadn't even realized Malfoy came in.   
  
"Yeah," she said faintly, "three to three," and rose to stand beside her two best friends.   
  
"Hmm, something tells me your heart isn't in this Granger."   
  
"Sod off, Malfoy. If I have to I'll hex you so badly you won't be able to return to Hogwarts. Get out!" Hermione said fiercely, jabbing her wand at Malfoy's pointed face.   
  
Malfoy's eyes darted from Ron to Harry to Hermione before finally saying, "Well, I can see this isn't a Slytherin friendly area. I should go before the Mudblood does something she'll regret." He turned to leave, but over his shoulder he grumbled, "I'd hate to see what my father might do to a Mudblood like you."   
  
Ron mumbled something and sat back down. Harry stared at the door for another moment in hatred, but Hermione didn't move. That was the first time Malfoy had ever threatened her with his father. The thought of being around Lucius frightened her.   
  
"I . . . um . . . I have to go and check on the other compartments. Prefect, you know." Hermione was out of the compartment before she heard their replies and was walking down the train to check in on the other students. She stopped, leaned against the closest door, and took a deep breath to calm herself. She was filled with hatred and fear. Hatred towards Malfoy and everything that he is and fear because for a moment she believed that Lucius would really hurt her if he had the chance. She didn't think that she had anything to worry about while she was at Hogwarts. She knew she was safe at Hogwarts, but that didn't mean she never left Hogwarts.   
  
The door to the compartment opened suddenly and Hermione fell onto her back into the compartment behind her. The world was a bit foggy from hitting her head, but was clearing up when she heard Malfoy yell, "Get out Mudblood! You're contaminating my compartment! I said get out!"   
  
Hermione stood up as fast as possible, with the world still shaking and made her way back to Harry and Ron. Pansy and her friends shrieking behind her.   
  
"Good job, Hermione," she said to herself. "Fall right into the serpent's den! I commend you."   
  
Hermione entered her own compartment looking pale and dizzy, grabbed her clothes, changed, and left the train with her best friends. Harry and Ron refused to stop asking her what was, but Hermione shrugged it off and said nothing. The last thing she wanted was to be made fun of.   
  
All the students above first year got into the carriages and waited for the sorting to begin. Hermione was looking anxiously up at the staff table. Everyone was there except for the new teacher, an empty chair was between Professor Snape and McGonagall.   
  
"Where is he?" Ron asked. "I want to get to the feast some time today. I think it's silly we have to wait for the new teacher just to have the sorting ceremony. He's going to be teaching all of them anyway, not specific houses."   
  
"Oh, Ron stop it! I'm sure your stomach can wait a few more minutes," Hermione said as she checked her watch.   
  
About ten minutes later Dumbledore rose from his seat. "Quiet everyone, please. I'm not quite sure what's keeping our new faculty member, but I think we should start with the Sorting Ceremony."   
  
Professor McGonagall brought the stool and the old sorting hat forward with the trembling first years following behind her. Then the sorting hat began to sing:   
  


_I am to sort you here today   
and put you where you belong.   
Four houses are to choose from   
but it shouldn't take to long.   
Gryffindor was proud and brave   
and thought those students best.   
Ravenclaw was quick of mind   
and took those from the rest.   
Hufflepuff had dedication   
and liked students with the same.   
Slytherin was sly of wit   
and wanted what you couldn't tame.   
Though these four were different   
they once had a common goal,   
to teach the students who would come,   
to pull them from the fold.   
They were united at the start,   
but divided in the end.   
You students have a choice this year   
of how this time could end.   
Take a stand and face your fears   
there's nothing left to lose.   
But like I said, I am their hat   
and houses for you I will choose._

  
  
The hall was quiet as the students thought of the Sorting Hat's words. Mcgonagall stepped forward. "When I call your name, please step forward and put on the sorting hat. Adams, Jon . . ."   
  
The door to the Great Hall flung open and a young women with her long brown hair dripping wet and her clothes a mess ran into the hall. When she realized that everyone was looking at her she stopped running and walked quietly to the staff table. Dumbledore gave her a warm smile and she returned it. Snape, however; looked very displeased to see her and eyed her with malice.   
  
"Adams, Jonathan." A boy with mousy brown hair got up and tried on the sorting hat.   
  
"Ravenclaw!" It screamed, and the boy went off to join his table. It went on the same until the last student, Billy Zindler was sorted and at his house table.   
  
Dumbledore rose once again and addressed the students, "Everyone I would like to introduce you to our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Linz who has graciously decided to return to England from studying tribal magick in Africa." The young, and soaking wet, woman nodded and smiled. "It appears, though, that she forgot about not being able to apparate onto school grounds."   
  
"Yeah, it's been a long time since I read Hogwarts: A History, but that's okay 'cause I got in a nice brisk run through the Forbidden Forest. I got my exercise for today." This was the first professor Hermione had seen who seemed so full of life. She was the only adult that Hermione knew who seemed like a regular teenager.   
  
Dumbledore chuckled and smiled wider. "Well, even though Professor Linz was in the Forest, first years, no student is allowed inside. Hogsmeade trips for the third years and up have been postponed." There was a great rumble of disappointment throughout the hall. "It's time to eat!" Dumbledore clapped his hands and food sprung up in great piles.   
  
Hermione looked up once more at the staff table and watched Professor Linz hugging McGonagall and talking animatedly and laughing. Snape continue to watch them with and evil eye. Then Professor Linz gave McGonagall a wink and whipped around in time to catch Snape watching her.   
  
"WOW," thought Hermione. "She's very different. I hope she knows what she's doing." A tap on the shoulder brought Hermione out of her thoughts. It was Ron.   
  
"We have to take the first years to the dorm. First years, this way!" Hermione followed Ron to the Gryffindor common room and went up to her dorm. She put herself in bed and brought the covers up over her head. Tonight was the only night of dreamless sleep.   
  
In the morning Hermione met Ron and Harry in the Great Hall for breakfast. "Did you get a load of our new teacher? Dumbledore finally decided to hire a teacher who's pretty."   
  
Harry glance at Hermione as Ron said this, but she was focused on her class schedule and eating. Harry looked his over and sighed. "Well, Ron you'll be happy to know we have Double Defense Against the Dark Arts today . . . with the Slytherins."   
  
"What?" Ron chirped spitting out some of his muffin. Hermione looked up at him in disgust and Ron's ears turned bright red.   
  
"I don't know about this teacher. She's so young," said Hermione.   
  
"That doesn't mean anything. I was teaching a group Defense Against the Dark Arts last year and I was only 15. She has at least ten more years on us. Maybe she's like you, Herm. Brilliant and all," Harry said as he leered over towards the Slytherin table.   
  
Hermione sat up a little straighter and smiled. "Maybe, oh I have to go to McGonagall's before class. I'll so you guys there."   
  
"What are you going for?" Ron asked.   
  
"Oh, she just wanted to talk to me about something. It's probably just my schedule again, or something."   
  
"You didn't sign up for everything again, did you?"   
  
"No!" Hermione left them and made her way to her Transfiguration classroom. McGonagall was waiting for her inside and Professor Linz was sitting in front of her desk, legs crossed, talking.   
  
"Miss Granger, I'm glad you could make it."   
  
"So this is Miss Granger?" Professor Linz asked and turned around giving Hermione a once over. "I have heard a lot about you, Miss Granger, and all said in praise. I'll be looking forward to having you in my class which . . .is in about 10 minutes so I had better go. Don't be tardy. Until later, Professor." Then Linz was gone and Hermione was left watching McGonagall shuffle around a paper or two before looking up.   
  
"I know that you work very hard at being a Prefect Miss Granger and there is something I am going to ask of you. With what is happening out in the world unity among the houses is needed. I am hoping you will try your best to encourage this."   
  
"I will do my best, Professor."   
  
"I'm glad to hear it. You'd better be off to class now."   
  
Hermione entered the Defense classroom and found it much different from previous years. Lockhart had pictures of himself everywhere, Lupin always had some kind of creature, but Linz had artifacts and weapons. There were daggers and swords, large vials containing things Hermione didn't want to think of. Hermione took her seat near the front and watched as student after student entered the class in awe and amazement. Everyone except Draco Malfoy.   
  
"What, so our new teacher is some kind of warrior? I doubt she could save herself from a Hinkypunk." His Slytherin cronies laughed as they took their seats near the back. Harry and Ron were the last to arrive and took seats beside her.   
  
The door to the back of the classroom slammed shut causing all the students to turn suddenly. "I hope everyone is here," Professor Linz said while taking her place at the head of class. "Welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts. I am Professor Linz. Dumbledore has informed of what this years course schedule will contain and I plan on sticking to it. I know you all have had a different teacher every year, but I don't plan on going to far. So, you are Gryffindor and Slytherin, am I correct?" The students nodded. "Oh . . . how wonderful. Good, then this will be a lot . . . easier." Professor Linz picked up her wand and touched the wall behind her. "This is your assignment. It is a group project, an inter house group project. I will pair you off." Linz unrolled a piece of parchment and looked it over. "I want you to bear in mind that I didn't come up with this list, McGonagall did. She knows you better than I do, obviously. Normally this would be a 'raise your hand when I call your name and find your partner' kind of thing, but I'm sure you all know each other quite well. Okay . . . Weasley you're with Parkinson." Ron's face paled and Pansy gasped in horror. "Goyle you're with Brown. Potter you're with Zambini. Crabbe you're with Patil." Hermione heard and strangled cry near the back of the room and thought for a moment that Parvati might have fainted. "Thomas you're with Bulstrode. Malfoy . . ." Professor Linz looked up from the parchment and scanned the class. "Which of you is Malfoy?"   
  
"I am Draco Malfoy." Malfoy smiled a fake smile and sat up straighter than normal.   
  
Professor Linz watched him for a only a second more before returning to the list. "Malfoy you're with Granger."   
  
That was all it took. Hermione's world stopped. Malfoy's smiled faded quickly and took on a look of hatred. Hermione never heard the last few names being called on the list. How could she get through a project having to work with Malfoy? So that was why McGonagall wanted to see her. She was preparing Hermione for what was ahead. "Unity among the houses is needed," she had said. Well, that was easy for her to say. She didn't have to accomplish unity by working with a Mudblood hating wanker.   
  
Hermione turned her head to look at Malfoy. He was staring back at her with disgust and hatred. He tilted his head to the side and brought his index finger across his neck. Hermione turned back to Professor Linz and tried to calm her breathing.   
  
"I am going to say this now because I know in my heart if I don't I'll regret it. If any of my students come back to this class by the time this assignment is due and are anything less than 100% healthy, there are going to be some expulsions. Am I clear to everyone?" The class nodded and Professor Linz turned back to the chalk board. "The project will consist of four parts. The first is curses, the second counter-curses, the third testing and practice, the fourth demonstration. You will be in the library or where ever you have to go to find information on the curses I assign. Every group will have the same curses. I'd be afraid if I gave you all different ones, but there better not be any cheating. I know I said before about the hundred percent health, but that means you better work extra hard on those counter-curses. The third part, testing and practice, you are going to practice casting and deflecting these curses. Finally, you will each demonstrate what you have accomplished to the rest of the class. Are there any questions? No?"   
  
Hermione's breathing was ragged now. How could she possible survive this? This must be a dream. This can't be real. I can't really have to work with Malfoy. I can't really have to let him curse me. This is terrible. I'm going to die, I know it.   
  
"The curses are on the board." Linz touched her wand to the surface and the writing changed. The board read: _Minuos, Leg-locker, Stunning, Imperious._ "This is just a small list for right now. I don't want any of you doing anything to advanced. Who knows what you all might do to each other."   
  
Hermione raised her hand tentatively. "Professor we're not allowed to perform the Imperius Curse. It's illegal."   
  
"I know that Miss Granger, but part of the course schedule the Headmaster has provided me is that you all learn to fight it. You can't learn to fight it unless someone casts it on you. I will say this though. When casting the Imperious Curse do not force your partner to do anything that will cause them serious bodily harm. If I attend a Quidditch match and people are falling off their brooms and it was cause some idiot decided to test their partners ability to fight the Imperius Curse, there will be an expulsion. Misuse of any of these curses we will be learning this year will result in expulsion. You all are old enough that you should be able to be mature about this. Please prove to me that I'm right. Do you understand now, Miss Granger?"   
  
Hermione nodded and looked to her notes.   
  
"Now, against all my instincts and intuition, you will get into the pairs I assigned you and we will practice a curse and deflecting it. God help us."   
  
Reluctantly Hermione got up and walked over towards Malfoy, holding her head high. There was no way she would give Hermione the satisfaction of seeing her scared or nervous.   
  
"Everyone watch me. _Pridem Sopor!_ And the counter-curse: _Excito_. If I see anyone casting anything except that curse I'll have you out of this school faster than you can say, 'Father . . .'" Draco's face contorted with rage.   
  
"I'll cast first Granger." Before Hermione could reply he shouted the words and everything went dark.   
  
Hermione's eyes fluttered slightly as she came to. Malfoy was standing over looking very pleased with himself. "Do you always faint when you're frightened?"   
  
"What are you talking about, Malfoy? You cursed me, and you know it! I didn't faint!"   
  
"Anything you say, Granger. Get up, it's your turn."   
  
Hermione stood and pointed her wand at Malfoy. He gave a sly smile and all of her hatred poured into her words. Malfoy was down on the ground in an instant. She stood over him and was about to utter the counter-curse when she noticed something. There was something in Malfoy's face wasn't there when she saw him being the Slytherin prat he always is. There was peace and tranquility on his face. His features were nice when he wasn't trying his hardest to look mean all the time.   
  
Hermione shook her head and muttered the counter-curse. His eyes opened slowly and looked at her with kindness. The moment ended as soon as it started and he hid himself behind the mask of anger again.   
  
"That was good everyone. Parkinson, you have to revive him. Crabbe, a little more wrist next time, and Granger, that was very good. I'm impressed." Malfoy gave a grunt of disgust at Hermione's name and turned away from her. "That's then end of class. This assignment is due in three weeks! Work hard and please do not kill each other!"   
  
Hermione avoided Draco as she walked to Arithmancy dreading the next three weeks that were ahead of her. 


	2. The Malfoy Problem

**Title:** Running Free   
**Author:** Blaze Faula   
**Pairing:** Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger   
  
**My Second Entry: The Malfoy Problem**   
  
_August 14, 1997   
I know it's been a couple days, but I needed to take a break, collect my head and make sure I remembered everything I was planning on telling you. I think I have it all.   
  
At this time I was thinking of Professor Linz as someone who was making a big mistake. I blamed her for everything that happened to me in the beginning. I blamed her for this assignment. I blamed her for being as observant as she was. I blamed her for seeing what I did not. . . . Oh no, I'm telling you too much already. We haven't gotten to that part yet. It's coming.   
  
By now I had realized that this project we had been assigned would be the hardest I would ever have to accomplish. Now that I think back on all that has happened I'm starting to believe that that is what it was supposed to be. A trial set before all of us, to see if we had what it takes. Many of us didn't._   
  
Hermione was in the library until dark looking up everything she could find on the assigned curses. She hadn't seen Malfoy in days, except in Defense Against the Dark Arts. She had done all of the research on this project by herself. It was 9:00 PM when Hermione threw down her quill and left the library.   
  
She was walking as quickly as possible so as not to get caught by Filch or Mrs. Morris when she ran into something hard. She grunted in pain when she hit the ground and all of her things were scattered all over the hall.   
  
"Look where you're walking next time, Mudblood." Draco Malfoy was kneeling down next to her. His eyes boring into her brown ones sent shivers down her spine.   
  
"What are you doing down here, Malfoy? It's almost past curfew."   
  
"I'm here to work on the assignment, Mudblood."   
  
"Well, where have you been? I have working like crazy for days. Why weren't you here earlier?"   
  
"I don't want anyone to see me with a Mudblood."   
  
"Get over it, Malfoy. Our entire class knows that we're paired together." Malfoy said nothing and continued to the library. Hermione picked her things and went after him. "Malfoy, we're going to get caught. You know we can't be out of our dorms this late unless we're making rounds."   
  
"We will get caught if you don't shut your mouth." His words were full of venom.   
  
In the library, for the second time that night, Hermione pulled out her books and did more research. Unfortunately, no matter how hard she looked, Hermione could not find the counter-curse to Minuos, the bleeding curse. Minuos caused the blood in your body to slowly stop flowing and then reverse until you died. It wasn't listed in any of the books in the library that she had been through so far and Malfoy wasn't helping the situation. "Malfoy, I have already looked through all of those books."   
  
"Yes, but you could have missed something."   
  
"I did not miss anything!"   
  
"Keep your voice down, Mudblood."   
  
Hermione was growing angrier and angrier by the minute. Malfoy had insulted her, called her names, and been rude to her since they bumped into each other. She couldn't work like this. "Stop calling me that!" Hermione screamed.   
  
"Be quite!" They were silent as they listened for signs that Filch had heard them, but nothing came. "Did your stupid Muggle parents not teach you to be silent?"   
  
"Listen to me Mal-" Then she heard it, a meow coming from around the corner. Malfoy heard it too and they slammed their books shut and ran from the library. Hermione stopped and listened again. Filch was coming towards them on their left, so Malfoy grabbed her hand and ran down towards the dungeons. He pulled Hermione into a dark corner and covered her mouth. They were too close for comfort and Hermione tried as hard as she could not to struggle away from him. She could smell him. His cologne was intoxicating and was filling her nostrils with a masculine scent that caused Hermione's eyes to drop suddenly.   
  
"I think he's gone." Malfoy looked down and pushed Hermione away from him. "Now I have to scrub my hands. Get back up to the tower where you belong!"   
  
Hermione sighed in exasperation, but stood her ground. "When are we meeting again."   
  
"Ugh! Tomorrow night after hours, if I can put a silencing charm on you."   
  
"Malfoy I am not coming back here tomorrow night. I am not going to get caught for your pride."   
  
"Tomorrow night or do this project by yourself!" With that Malfoy strode off down into the dungeons.   
  
Hermione stamped her foot on the ground and walked carefully back up the Gryffindor tower. Oh, that Malfoy! How dare he think that he could boss me around like that! He doesn't own me! I'm not his slave. Stupid prat, I'm going to cast Minuos on him and never give the counter-curse, the stupid little toad.   
  
"Password?" asked the Fat Lady.   
  
"Quidditch cup."   
  
Hermione climbed through the portrait hole to find Harry siting up by the fire. "Hermione I was worried about you. Where have you been?"   
  
"Down in the library with Malfoy working on our Defense Against the Darks Arts assignment."   
  
"Why would you bee working on it so late?"   
  
"Oh, we made a breakthrough on one of the curses." Hermione hated telling lies to her friends.   
  
_Of course, Diary, I didn't realize that I was going to be telling a lot more lies later on in the year. Worse lies than why I was in the library after hours._   
  
"Don't worry, Harry. It won't happen again."   
  
The next day during potions Hermione was so tired that she added the incorrect ingredient into her potion and it bubbled over onto the floor. Snape was so furious that he took off 50 points from Gryffindor and gave Hermione a detention. She couldn't hold back the tears as much as she wanted to. The next few days were the same until she was in Defense Against the Dark Arts again.   
  
"Today I want you to put your wands away. While you are working on your assignments, and I know for a fact you are working really hard, I'm going to give you a break on curses. We are going to study Vampires. Can anyone tell me three features that are recognizable in a Vampire?"   
  
The class looked to Hermione, but she didn't raise her hand. Her eyes were fixed on the blank sheet of parchment in front of her.   
  
"Anyone? Miss Granger, are you feeling okay? You're not sick are you?"   
  
"Huh? Oh, no. I'm not sick, Professor."   
  
"Are you sure?" Hermione nodded and then looked back down to her parchment. "Class open your text books to page number 157 and read the chapter silently. We'll have a quiz after."   
  
Hermione leaned over groggily and pulled the book from her bag. Professor Linz watch as Hermione's head dropped a number times slightly as she read.   
  
"Is anyone still reading? No? Okay, same question: what are three features that are recognizable in a Vampire." Not one hand went up. "Potter?"   
  
"The vampire has fangs, paled skin, and red eyes."   
  
"Five points to Gryffindor. Next question: what repels Vampires?"   
  
Hermione's head was dropping lower and lower. She was sleeping only four hours every night since she started meeting Malfoy in the library every night. The assignment was too hard with all of her other classes to get done without help.   
  
"Parkinson, how about you?"   
  
Hermione's head finally hit the desk with a soft thump and the class started laughing. Hermione's head popped back up when she heard the noise and looked around.   
  
"Be quiet!" The class was silence instantly. "I don't tolerate that in my class. I thought you were mature. If you can't work together that means I'm going to have to assign more inter house projects. Is that what you want? I didn't think so."   
  
The quiz went on until class ended. Hermione went to get up, but was stilled by a hand on her shoulder. "Stay here, Hermione. I want to talk to you for a moment."   
  
Hermione nodded and then put her head down on the desk. "Sure, Professor. Anything you want."   
  
"Hermione what is happening to you. You are a wonderful student. What's wrong?   
  
"Nothing is wrong. I'm just . . . yawn . . . tired."   
  
"Have you not been getting sleep lately?"   
  
"I've . . . yawn . . . been studying late."   
  
"Well, maybe you could do with a little less studying."   
  
"I can't. We haven't . . . yawn . . . been able to find . . . yawn . . . the counter-curse."   
  
"What do you mean?"   
  
"Nothing. . . . yawn . . . I've just been studying, that's . . ."   
  
"I'm taking you to the hospital wing."   
  
"No . . . Professor. I'm not sick."   
  
"I know, but you need sleep. Mobilius corpus."   
  
Hermione's body rose gently from her seat and Professor Linz brought her to Madam Pomfrey. "What happened to her?"   
  
"Nothing she just needs rest. Give her a sleeping drought for me, will you?"   
  
The bitter liquid was swallowed and Hermione fell into a deep sleep.   
  
Hermione could hear people whispering around her. Her eyes opened and Harry and Ron came into view.   
  
"I knew this was a bad idea. How could you let her stay out every night to study in the library, with MALFOY!"   
  
"Shut up, Ron! I didn't know she was doing it! She told me it wouldn't happen again."   
  
It dawned on Hermione that they were talking about her and the pang of guilt came back. Lying to her friends was killing her, but she wanted to get the assignment done. If meeting Malfoy in the library every night was going to get the job done, then fine.   
  
"Shh. She's waking up. How are you feeling, Hermione?"   
  
"Rested."   
  
"I copied my notes for you from Potions."   
  
"Oh my god! I can't believe I missed Potions! We were going over Veritaserum today! I know that it's going to be on the test!"   
  
"You should have seen Snape. He tested the potion on Dean and without even having Snape ask Dean looked at him and told him he was a greasy git! I thought I was going to die of laughter, but Snape took thirty points, so it wasn't that great."   
  
"That's funny, Ron." Hermione smiled and hugged him.   
  
"I don't want you seeing Malfoy after dark anymore, Hermione. I worry about you and I don't trust that git."   
  
"I can take care of myself. If Malfoy doesn't want us being seen together then that's fine with me. I don't like being seen around him either."   
  
"What Ron means Hermione-"   
  
"I know what Ron means and I said that I can take care of myself!"   
  
"Hermione, we don't doubt that, but-"   
  
"There are no buts Harry. I can take care of Malfoy."   
  
"He knows more dark magic than you or I could think of."   
  
"You don't know that, Ron."   
  
"I don't know that! Look at who his father is!" Ron's voice was getting so loud the other patients were stirring.   
  
"Ron, please-"   
  
"No, Hermione! I mean this! As your friend I am tell you not to be anywhere with Malfoy at night!"   
  
_You're seeing what I saw, right? I understood that Ron was protecting me and being defensive of me, but he didn't understand that the incident on the train to Hogwarts still rattled me a bit. If I didn't have to piss of Draco Malfoy, then I was going to try not to. I wasn't scared, but I was unsure of what Malfoy's limits were, and I wasn't too keen of finding out._   
  
"Ron, Harry, I think you need to go now. I'm still a little tired. I'll see you in class tomorrow." Hermione turned over in her bed and pulled the covers up over her head.   
  
"But, Her-"   
  
"Go Ron! Good night."   
  
I can't believe it. He is being such a jerk. Then the little voice popped up. He cares about you, Hermione. I know he does, but this assignment is important to me. He knows that, but you're important to him. That's not the same thing. It's not? No, he cares about me and I'm human, but I care about an assignment, something that will end soon. He's afraid that you might as well. I don't think that Lucius Malfoy or his son are trying or going to kill me.   
  
_Confusing you? Don't worry it confused me as well._   
  
Hermione grabbed the vial next to her bed an swallowed the rest of the potion. She couldn't stand listening to that little voice anymore.   
  
The next day Hermione was working frantically to study the notes from the previous day. On top of that she was planning to meet Malfoy in the library that night. The lack of progress was killing her. It's not possible that Professor Linz would give us a curse and tell us to learn the counter-curse if there isn't one, would she?   
  
Pretty soon she and Malfoy had to start practicing the curses and deflecting them, but of course how could she do that if Malfoy won't be anywhere near her in the day. There is no possible way of not getting caught if they were practicing curses after dark. No way that Filch or some other teacher wouldn't catch them.   
  
Once again Malfoy wouldn't look in her direction during Defense Against the Dark Arts.   
  
_Yes, I know! I don't understand why I cared that Malfoy wasn't looking at me either._   
  
That night Hermione stayed in the library until Malfoy showed up with a new stack of books.   
  
"Where did you get those?"   
  
"My father sent them to me."   
  
Hermione huffed. Couldn't even find a simple counter-curse without the help of his daddy. "Have you started looking through them yet?"   
  
Malfoy shook his head and slumped down into a chair to start reading. Hermione watched as his eyes started to close involuntarily. He shook his head slightly and began to rub his temples.   
  
"Do you have a headache?"   
  
"What's it to you, Mudblood?" His steel eyes lifted from the page to settle on her face.   
  
"Nothing. I'm sorry that I even asked." Hermione went back to reading. About twenty minutes later she slammed her book closed. "This is pointless I have been researching this for almost two weeks and have found nothing."   
  
"You mean we have been searching."   
  
"No, I mean I have been searching. Up until a couple of days ago you hadn't done a thing. We aren't going to find it."   
  
"It has to be somewhere. She wouldn't assign us a project that couldn't be completed."   
  
"Well, Malfoy we're running out of time. The project is due in eight days and we haven't tested anything, yet. At this rate we aren't going to finish."   
  
"We will. I refuse to get a failing grade in Defense Against the Dark Arts because some Mudblood can't locate a counter-curse. I thought you were supposed to be smart."   
  
"How dare you. I have been trying my hardest. I can't say the same for you. The only reason you would get a failing grade is because you don't want to defend against the dark arts." She gasped at her own words and by the look on Malfoy's face she was immediately sorry she said them.   
  
"You need to keep your filthy mouth shut about things you don't understand." He said rising from his chair in anger.   
  
"I'm sorry." Hermione whispered, a bit surprised that she even said it.   
  
Malfoy resumed his reading, but massaged his temples harder. After a while he started to grimace and sigh. She didn't know why, but it hurt to see that he was hurting. Hermione got up and walked behind him. "What are you doing? Don't touch me. I don't want your germs on me." Malfoy said, startled.   
  
"Shut up, Malfoy." Hermione said placed her wand tip at the top of the back of his neck, right at the base of his skull, and whispered a spell. Malfoy's features softened and he reminded her of the sleeping Malfoy she cursed in Defense Against the Dark Arts. His face was handsome when he wasn't scowling at people. He was very handsome.   
  
"What are you two doing?"   
  
Hermione's head snapped in the direction of the voice. Professor McGonagall stood there, her lips as thin as ever. "Professor, we were working on our Defense Against the Darks Arts assignment."   
  
"School projects should be done in the daytime. I would have expected that two prefects would be making sure students weren't in the library after dark. I seriously doubt there is anything in your lives that is so time consuming you can't meet in the library during the day." Malfoy shot Hermione a disgusted look before plastering on a fake smile for McGonagall. "I don't want to see you two down here again. I will be checking the library from now on. Work during the day! Fifty points from both your houses. Now get to bed!"   
  
"Yes, Professor." They said and collected their things.   
  
Hermione walked through the cold hallways up to Gryffindor Tower with Malfoy in mind. Now, how was she going to get this project done? His face was so beautiful for a moment. Why can't he look like that all the time. Oh my god! I'm thinking about Malfoy's face. What is wrong with me? This is beyond rational thought, Hermione. You can't think about Malfoy's face unless you're thinking about slapping it. Malfoy is just a slimy git who hates you. He isn't worth your time thinking about. If that's true, then why am I?   
  
_The streets were dark, only lit by a few lamps. Hermione was hooded and passing the stores and inns up the sloping hill. Atop this hill was a large and menacing home, dark and cold. The lightning that flashed in the night illuminated the house with a ghostly appeal. Hermione drew the cloak around her and kept climbing up the long winding stairs until she reached the front door.   
  
Upon the door sat a serpent knocker, it's tongue forming a loopy letter. She raised her hand cautiously and knocked on the large black door.   
  
Immediately a hooded figure opened the door and beckoned her inside. The large hall was lit with green flames. Portraits of evil looking men were hung along the hallway. All of the men in the portraits looked down on Hermione in hatred. Their mouths were forming words Hermione couldn't here and pointing down at her.   
  
She held her head high and followed the hooded figure through the house. It seemed to glide up the steps without touching them, like a ghost, just floating.   
  
The hallway at the top of stairs was connected to the terrace outside. Doors lined the hallway. One door in particular, the fifth on the right, had a red glow coming from underneath the door. The hooded figure led Hermione to that door and opened it.   
  
Inside was what appeared to be an office. The high, black chair behind the desk was facing away from her. Hermione thought for a moment that she was in a small library, except for the case in the corner containing dark magical items.   
  
"Stay away," hissed a voice from the chair. "Stay away from us."   
  
"What? Stay away from whom?" Then Hermione saw it. A body lay off to the side, also covered up by a hooded cloak. Hermione went to move toward it, but the voice stopped her. "STAY AWAY!" It hissed again. She didn't understand why, but she felt a call coming to her from the body. She wanted to be near it. She wanted to help it. Hermione moved toward the body again, but was stopped this time by a hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at it. It was grey and slimy, like it had decayed in water. It was the hand of a Dementor._   
  
Hermione screamed and woke up in a sweat. She looked around the room with eyes wide, in search of the Dementor. It was no where in sight and she was back in her dorm. She breathed a sigh of relief and wiped the salty water from her brow.   
  
"Hermione! What's wrong?" It was Lavender. She fell out of bed from being startled by Hermione's scream.   
  
Hermione waited a moment to speak. She needed to get her heartbeat back down to normal. "I'm fine. It was just a bad dream. I'm sorry. It was just a dream. Go back to sleep." 


	3. The Malfoy Solution

**Title:** Running Free   
**Author:** Blaze Faula   
**Pairing:** Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger   
  
**My Third Entry: The Malfoy Solution**   
  
_August 19, 1997   
My apologies once again for not writing for a while, but remembering that dream only caused me to have it again. I am over it now though.   
  
Let me see the last thing I wrote was . . . oh yes. Malfoy and I had been caught in the library and could never come back after dark thanks to McGonagall vowing to check every night. I was secretly grateful to McGonagall for stopping the midnight study party. I was suffering with only four hours of sleep per night. I was also secretly ungrateful to McGonagall. Now that we couldn't meet in the library Malfoy wouldn't come within twelve feet of me. I couldn't finish the assignment on my own. It doesn't really work to curse yourself and then uncurse yourself._   
  
It was a cloudy day while Hermione sat out by the lake with another text book in her hand. In front of her, about four feet away, was a doll. Hermione pointed her wand to it and muttered: _"Stupefy."_ The doll fell over.   
  
This isn't going to work. I can't practice these curses. She looked around to see if someone could help her. Everyone else was busy working with their partner. She sighed and cradled her head in her hands. "Malfoy you are such a stupid prat."   
  
"Now, now . . . " Hermione gasped and looked up. "If you talk like that I may leave." Draco Malfoy was leaning against the tree behind her. "Didn't work very well on the doll, did it?"   
  
"I wouldn't have to use a doll if you would help me."   
  
"Why do you think I'm here, Granger?"   
  
"To make my life Hell."   
  
"Well, yes, but right now I'm here to work."   
  
"Fine." Hermione said and pointed her wand between Malfoy's eyes. "Don't move."   
  
Malfoy's eyes widened in shock and then squinted in rage. "Don't you dare, Mudblood."   
  
"Oh, but Malfoy how can we practice if I can't curse you," she said in a sweet voice, and then in a not so sweet voice added, "And another thing, Malfoy, the Mudblood deal is stopping right now. If you call me a Mudblood one more time, I will hex you with something so foul you will run away crying."   
  
"I'll go straight to my father."   
  
"And tell him that you got cursed by a disgusting Mudblood? I wonder what he would say to that."   
  
His eyes faltered and Hermione saw something she never saw in them before, fear. He was afraid of his father. How could anyone be afraid of their own father? He nodded and Hermione lowered her wand.   
  
"I'll cast first, Granger. Which would you prefer?"   
  
Hermione's eyes raised. Malfoy was actually asking for her preference like he cared. "Leg-locker."   
  
"Oh good! I love this one on Gryffindors. _Locomotor Mortis!_" Hermione's legs flew together and she fell forward on her hands. "You look even more pathetic than Longbottom."   
  
"Undo it, Malfoy."   
  
With a swish of his wand and a mumble of words Hermione's legs separated. "My turn Malfoy. _Locomotor Mortis!_" Malfoy's legs imitated Hermione's, but he feel backwards into a puddle of mud. Hermione burst out in laughter and forgot about the counter-curse.   
  
"Granger! Undo the spell!"   
  
_Finite_ . . . ha ha . . . _Incantantum._" Malfoy stood up, cleaned the mud from his robes and turned to walk away.   
  
"Wait! Malfoy, we haven't finished." He spun around and grabbed Hermione's wrist bringing her face close to his own.   
  
"I am finished with you. Stay away from me!"   
  
"Let go of me, Malfoy." He released and turned to leave again. "I can't believe that you are being such a baby. It was just a puddle. It's not a big deal."   
  
"Sod off, Granger!"   
  
"NO! I am not letting you leave! _Locomotor Mortis!_" Draco fell forward with a cry of rage and Hermione sat down next to him.   
  
"We are not practicing anymore, Granger. I can take it off now."   
  
"Not if I have your wand." Hermione said and held up the wand he dropped when he fell.   
  
"Give it back to me!"   
  
"No! You are going to listen to me! I don't care about your pride or your ego or whatever malfunctions you have. We are working on this project together so-"   
  
Not anymore we-" At that moment Hermione decided it would be a good idea to try the silencing charm.   
  
"If you can't be quiet I will make you. We are working on this project together so we are going to make a deal. I know, dealing with a Mudblood isn't something you do, but you better make an exception. There will be no name calling, no hissy fits, like the one you just tried to pull, and there will be no cursing without permission. Well, after I release you I mean. If you understand and agree nod your head." Hermione waited for what seemed like hours until Malfoy nodded. She handed him his wand and reversed the spells. "Now come on. We have work to do."   
  
On the morning of September 18th Hermione was in the Great Hall with Harry and Ron. It was a Saturday. Hermione was insisting that they should study. Ron and Harry's replies were evil looks.   
  
_I was such a bookworm then. Now I don't read so many books. I don't see the need anymore. I used to read because I wanted to prepare myself for the things that lay ahead. I wanted to be ready for anything. I must have read five hundred books before the start of my sixth year. Not one of those books saved me from the fate I was destined for.   
  
By this point Malfoy and I had to come an agreement. He was never again to disrespect me the way he did and I was to act civil towards him. We had both learned all of the curses, except of course for the Minuos curse. We were both afraid to cast that spell without knowing the counter-curse. I had been avoiding Malfoy from the previous day because I still couldn't get the Imperius curse to work on him. Either he was really good at fighting it or I wasn't good at casting it. At first I was afraid because I knew what the Ministry would do if they discovered I was casting one of the Unforgivables. I needed a day off from everything that had to do with Defense Against the Dark Arts class, but I didn't get what I wished for._   
  
"Harry, have you studied for the Vampire test we have Monday? I haven't even worked on the homework yet." Ron said while moving his Rook to slaughter Harry's pawn.   
  
"Ugh . . . no! I forgot about it. I'll do it tomorrow." Hermione made a disapproving noise in the back of her throat causing Harry to roll his eyes.   
  
"Hermione why don't you put down that book for a second and play Wizard Chess with us."   
  
"I have had enough Wizard Chess to last a life time, but thank you for the offer."   
  
"Please, do something besides read a book. How about we go down to the Quidditch pitch and watch Slytherin practice." Harry suggested.   
  
"Why? You know we are going to win." Ron asked moved his bishop.   
  
"It's always good to watch the other teams. It gives us a better picture of what we are up against for training."   
  
"Fine."   
  
On the Quidditch pitch the Slytherins were practicing for the upcoming Ravenclaw match. Harry Ron and Hermione were seated in the stands. Hermione continued to read. Harry and Ron figured it was because she wasn't interested in watching the practice, but reality it was because she didn't want to watch Malfoy. Working on these curses together only put Malfoy in her thoughts constantly. The last thing that Hermione wanted was to be thinking about how he played Quidditch.   
  
"Hey, look!"   
  
Hermione lowered her book to see what Ron was pointing at. Malfoy had been hit by a bludger and was falling to the ground below.   
  
_At the time I had to fight myself so that I wouldn't go running out onto the field. I wasn't in love with Malfoy or anything, but I assumed we had become friends. I hadn't heard Mudblood come from his lips for almost a week. It shocked me and maybe that's why I was confused. I didn't expect him to really hold out on that bargain.   
  
If he was my friend the friendly thing to do would be to run out onto that field and see if he was okay. I knew he wasn't my friend. We would never be friends, Malfoy and I. I could never be friends with someone who I knew hated me so much and everyone like me. Muggle borns in general are vermin in his eyes.   
  
I found myself, at first, hating him and thinking he was vermin for thinking that way of me. After a while I realized that maybe I could help him. We all might be wrong. He might be someone who is kind and nice, but his father twisted his mind and changed Draco Malfoy into someone he wasn't. After that thought crossed my mind I knew I was insane._   
  
"He is such an idiot. I can't believe he didn't see that bludger coming!"   
  
Malfoy was lying on the ground, not moving. You have to help him, Hermione. Hermione, go see if he's al right. Hermione!   
  
"Hermione . . . are you feeling okay?" Harry and Ron were both giving her confused looks.   
  
"I'm fine. Is Malfoy going to be okay?" Hermione asked as she put down her book and watched Malfoy being carried of the field. "He doesn't look to good, does he?"   
  
"I'm sorry, Hermione, but it actually sounds like you care."   
  
"I don't care. I was just asking. Since when am I not allowed to ask you a question, Ronald Weasley."   
  
Harry leaned over. "Uh oh, mate. She's using your full name."   
  
"Well, I don't need you two questioning everything I do. I can ask you a question if I want."   
  
"We don't have a problem with that, Hermione. It just startled us that's all. You don't usually ask us questions about Malfoy's well-being."   
  
"I don't care about Malfoy's well-being! It was only a question. I would ask the same one if I saw Snape fall from a broom like that and watch him be carried off."   
  
"I wouldn't . . . "   
  
"Well, Ron you don't always have an interest in the well-being of others, do you?"   
  
"Yes, I do!"   
  
"I'm going back up to the common room to study!"   
  
Hermione's pace was fast as she entered Hogwarts. On the way back to Gryffindor Tower she fought the urge to swing by the hospital wing. Why do I care that Malfoy is hurt? He deserves it for everything he's done. It was his fault that he wasn't paying attention any ways.   
  
"Password?"   
  
"Quidditch Cup!" Hermione said in an angry voice and climbed through the portrait hole.   
  
"Hermione!"   
  
"WHAT?" Hermione snapped. "Oh . . . I'm sorry, Dean. I meant what do you want?"   
  
"Neville and I were wondering if you could help us with Transfiguration. I still can't turn my bird into a hat." Dean shrugged his shoulders in defeat and Neville sat at the table next to them looking very confused. How could Hermione say no?   
  
"Of course I'll help you. Let me go and get my book and notes."   
  
"Okay, so the correct words are: inflecto comepopis. You try." After twenty minutes of practice Dean and Neville still hadn't been able to completely transfigure their birds. Dean's changed colors and took the shape of a hat, but Neville's only lost it's feathers. Hermione dropped her head and tried again. Neville you have to move your wrist like this.   
  
"Hermione, we have to talk to you."   
  
"Go away, Ron. I'm busy helping people. You know, looking out for their well-being." Neville and Dean gave each other curious looks.   
  
"Hermione, I'm just trying to apologize for what I said earlier."   
  
"And you should apologize and I accept it. No Dean. Like this." Hermione moved her hand over Dean's to show him the proper movement of his wrist and several things happened at once. Ron's face and ears were turning red, Harry's eyes opened wider than imaginable, Dean froze and looked into Hermione's, and Hermione froze to stare back into Dean's eyes. Dean had beautiful blue eyes.   
  
Ron cleared his throat loudly and Hermione removed her hand. "Well, I think you two have the gist of it. I'm feeling pretty tired now so I'm going to go to bed. Good night."   
  
Hermione ran up to her dorm before anyone could say anything and slammed the door behind her. She leaned against the door for support and felt her legs give way.   
  
What is happening to me? First, Ron starts getting all close with me. Then, I actually seem to care about whether or not a git like Malfoy is hurt. And now, I felt something weird happening between Dean and I. What was that? It couldn't be affection. Yes, he is my friend, but I don't like him in that way. Do I? No, Dean and I could never be more than friends. I can't see myself with Dean. I don't mean that Dean isn't attractive, he is. And what is going on with Ron? He looked really upset that Dean and I touched. I really hope that Ron doesn't like me. I don't want things to get weird between us, but what if I do. What if things start moving forward, very forward, and I like it? Where does Malfoy fit into the picture? Is there a picture for him to fit into? What is the picture? I don't like Malfoy. Malfoy and I are not friends. If we're not friends then why has he been so civil to me lately? Was it just because of the assignment? Will he go back to being a lousy git when the assignment is over? Why am I even considering the fact that Malfoy might become a part of my life? Malfoy can't become a part of my life because he can't change. He can't become a part of my life because he hates me and I'll always be a Mudblood to him. If I really believed all of this crap then why am I even debating this in my mind? I wonder if he's okay. Oh my god! I did it again. I need to stop thinking about Draco Malfoy. He means nothing to me! I need a pensieve! I need sleep. I need a lobotomy!   
  
Hermione willed herself to stand, change her clothes, and get into bed. All night she tossed and turned until it was only a few more hours until dawn. The world had turned and was turning still, but Hermione was at a stand still. Why couldn't she figure Malfoy out? What was it that she couldn't see? What was it that she wouldn't see? Hermione needed to find out.   
  
The trip up to the boys' dorm was treacherous. Every step Hermione took was a careful one. She didn't want to make any noise, but to do that she had to keep from tripping and that wasn't proving an easy task for her. Clothes and junk were scattered all over the floor of the room. Thankfully the snoring kept her, accidentally loud, footsteps from being heard.   
  
Hermione slipped her hand into Harry's trunk and pulled out the invisibility cloak and wrapped it around herself. Being invisible, to Hermione, was a wonderful feeling. It was power and mischief and fun all at the same time. Hermione was the goody goody girl of Gryffindor and she liked knowing that, for just a little while, she could do almost whatever she wanted without getting caught.   
  
Under the cloak of invisibility she walked down the dark corridors towards the hospital wing. Hermione needed to know if Malfoy was okay. He haunted her in her sleep. He haunted her thoughts, and, to her, this was a closure. She would know and then could go back to sleep.   
  
The door opened soundlessly to the almost vacant wing. The only patient was Draco lying in the farthest bed from the door. Great, Hermione thought, it had to be the farthest, right? I can't get a break.   
  
Draco looked so peaceful lying there. Hermione found herself thinking about the first day in Defense Against the Dark Arts and it made her smile.   
  
_That was the moment that oh so insane thought came back into my mind. It was possible that Draco Malfoy wasn't as mean or evil as he pretended to be. No one so evil could look so angelic in his sleep. Yes, I thought he was angelic. I would never have admitted it to myself then, but I know now. After everything that he and I went through together he still had an angelic face, a beautiful face._   
  
Hermione turned to leave when she tripped over something on the floor. The room was too dark to see what the object was, but she knew it was something metal.   
  
"Who's there?" Crap! He's awake! How am I supposed to get out of here now? I could just leave, I do have an invisibility cloak on. If I leave, though, he'll know something is wrong.   
  
Hermione slipped off the cloak and hid it by her feet where Malfoy wouldn't look. "It's just me. I wanted to see how you were?"   
  
"Granger?" Malfoy blinked. "Why?"   
  
"I just wanted to make sure that you weren't hurt too bad."   
  
Malfoy watched her with doubting eyes. "What could have happened to me that Madam Pomfrey couldn't have fixed?"   
  
"Um . . . "   
  
"Do you know what I think, Granger? I think that you were worried about me."   
  
"I wasn't worried. I just wan . . ."   
  
" . . . wanted to make sure I was okay. Yes, I heard that part. There is something else though. You're not JUST some Gryffindor who is checking up on a Slytherin. There are deeper motives at work here, Granger."   
  
"I was hoping you weren't hurt because I didn't want to hear any of your bull whining about not being able to work on our project."   
  
His eyes didn't look very beautiful anymore. They turned cold and hard. "Listen here, Mudblood. I don't hurt that easily. Malfoy's can stand more than a little fall from a broom. Just because you want me . . ."   
  
"Malfoy, you are disgusting! I don't want you or anything to do with you . . . once our project is finished. . . . You just obliterated our deal. You called me a mudblood."   
  
"So what? That's what you are isn't it?"   
  
"No! I am better than that, Malfoy. I am better than a Mudblood! I am a good person who cares about other people." Tears began to fall from Hermione's eyes, but she only wiped them away harshly. "I cared about you, even if it was just for a moment. It's not a horrible thing that someone cares about someone else. You have to have caring in this life, Malfoy. You have to have compassion, and mercy, and kindness, and love. If you don't then you're a dead person, Malfoy. You're dead without feelings. I thought that was what made this world worth living, goodness."   
  
"Wake up, Granger! Those things are only illusions. None of that crap is real. There is no goodness. There is no compassion. There is no love! It's all fairy tales and bull shit you're spoon fed from an infant. It's all a lie."   
  
"That's not true, Malfoy! That's not true at all! That is just something your father told you! It's a lie. There is compassion and love, but I would never expect you to know because you could never be loved. No one could love some THING like you! No one!"   
  
"Shut your mouth you filthy Mudblood."   
  
"No! Someone has to finally tell you the truth through all of your father's lies."   
  
"Be quiet! My father has never lied to me! I believe him! He's right. I have seen to much evil and corruption and power to believe that petty things like love can over come them. It's all bull shit!"   
  
Hermione nodded in defeat, for now. "I hope you live forever alone, Malfoy! I hope that you never know what it's like to be loved because I would pity the poor soul to ever love a Malfoy. I have to believe in happiness." He said nothing in return as Hermione left the now cold hospital wing.   
  
_That was not how I wanted that conversation to go. Did I really go there to confess some deep dark secret I was keeping? No. I just needed to know he wasn't hurt, but that was the night I learned nothing could hurt a Malfoy, but something could hurt Draco . . ._   
  
Hermione cried her way back to bed. Tears that fell for a reason she didn't understand. What was that whole speech about? Since when do I have to justify myself or anything that I do to a Malfoy?   
  
_ The snow fell all around Hermione, creating a layer of thick snow. It was winter at Hogwarts and there were children playing in the snow, building snowmen and making snow angels. Everyone was smiling and laughing and having fun, but Hermione's face was a long one. The lake was frozen and there were ice skaters gliding across the reflective surface. Hermione walked towards them and looked out onto the ice, but something caught her attention.   
  
Hermione's reflection wasn't there. She was a blank person. Hermione was a nobody, a nonexistent being.   
  
A sob from behind her caused her turn around. Harry and Ron were standing there, their heads bowed, crying. In between them was a single black rose. The only living plant on Hogwarts ground. A single black rose between her and her best friends. She bent down to pick the flower, but when her hand got near it shriveled up and died.   
  
Hermione looked up to see Harry and Ron again, but they were gone. Albus Dumbledore and Draco Malfoy, with the same sad faces as Harry and Ron, standing before a grave replaced her schoolmates. Hermione stepped about to read the name on the grave. The letters were covered with snow. Hermione bowed down to wipe away the snow, but Draco's hand stopped her. "Stay away, Hermione!"   
  
"Malfoy? Stay away from whom?"   
  
"Listen to your heart, Miss Granger. It cannot fail you." Dumbledore looked up with a twinkle in his eyes.   
  
"Stay away, Mudblood! Stay away! Keep away!"_   
  
It was time to prepare for classes when the dream ended and Hermione woke up. I don't understand. What am I supposed to stay away from? What is he trying to tell me?   
  
The entire day of classes was mindless banter between Gryffindors and Slytherins, torture from Snape, and a non wonderful day of Dark Arts. The whole time Hermione was nervous. She doubted that Malfoy was going to show up for their practice session after classes out by the lake. She sat beneath the tree for what must have been forty-five minutes before she got up to leave, but a smooth voice stopped her.   
  
"Leaving already, Granger?"   
  
"Not Mudblood?"   
  
"Not now."   
  
"Why different?"   
  
"It just is. Are we practicing or not?"   
  
"Fine." Hermione turned toward him and dropped her bag. "I'll cast first. _Imperio!_"   
  
"Nothing's happening." Draco said and placed his hands in his robes in a very relaxed manner.   
  
"_Imperio._"   
  
"I guess you're not made for the dark arts, Granger. My turn. _Imperio!_"   
  
The little voice inside Hermione's head began to get louder by the second. Jump! it said. Jump now! Jump! JUMP! JUMP!! No, she fought back. I don't want to jump. I don't want to. No! She was getting weaker by the moment. JUMP! JUMP NOW!! She couldn't hold out any longer and she did jump.   
  
"You're weak, Granger. You wouldn't last a second if an experienced wizard cursed you. You'd crack like an egg."   
  
"_IMPERIO!_" Draco shook his head. "Why doesn't it work?"   
  
"You don't hate me enough. You have to want to curse me, Granger. You can't just flop your wrist say a few words and expect me to fall under your spell. You have to want it bad enough."   
  
Hermione closed her eyes and imagined all of the terrible things he had done to her, the teeth, the names, the hatred. Everything she could think of she used. "_IMPERIO!_" JUMP MALFOY! JUMP! JUMP NOW! JUMP I SAY! JUMP!! Draco struggled for as long as he could. He held on, but broke quicker than Hermione. He jumped with resistance and stumbled, landing right on top of Hermione.   
  
Hermione didn't know what to do. Draco Malfoy, her enemy, was lying on top of her. She could feel the heat radiating off of her. His body filled her with warmth in the chilled air. His silver eyes were so close to hers. She could see every line of his face. Every beautiful mark was taken into account.   
  
Hermione's breathing was getting shallow. Why wasn't he getting off? Do I want him to get off? No, I don't. I want to stay like this. Their face were drifting closer together. This can't be right. This is Draco Malfoy, the boy who has hated you forever. Push him off, she screamed to herself, but she couldn't.   
  
His blonde hair was starting to fall, framing his pale face. Closer still, their faces were. Their lips, a breath apart. Reality hit and she pushed him hard. Malfoy rolled off her and was standing in a flash. I can't do this. We were about to kiss. How could I do that? Keep your head, Hermione. Remember who this person is!   
  
Malfoy smoothed his hair back down and adjusted his robes. "Good job," he muttered and then left her there to her thoughts. 


	4. Interesting Developments

**My Fourth Entry: Interesting Developments**   
  
_August 24, 1997   
My emotions were tied up in knots. I was finally understanding what it meant to be a young woman. I was feeling things I had never felt before. I was feeling this attraction towards Dean. I was feeling an attraction towards Ron. I was feeling an attraction towards Draco. I dreamt about him at night. He was haunting my every thought.   
  
My life was changing, but I wasn't sure if it was for the better or the worse. I thought my life was being ruined because of Draco Malfoy. I didn't see any up sides of having Draco Malfoy influence me in any way. Was that what he did? Influence me? I never thought of it that way before. Yes, I guess he did influence me a great deal. Over the course of our time together we taught each other many things, but you will find all of this out later.   
  
Back to the situation at hand. I kept thinking back to when Malfoy was on top of me. The closeness was enough to make anyone do crazy things. I wanted to touch him. No, not in the sexual way. I mean, I wanted to run my fingers through his hair and trace the outline of his lips. He fell due to my spell that day, but I fell under his._   
  
The common room fire was dimming down while Hermione studied. It was almost empty, since dinner was starting in a short period of time. Over and over Hermione drilled Arithmancy equations into her head. She was starting to nod off when someone tapped her on the shoulder.   
  
"Hermione, it's time for dinner." It was Dean looking down at her with big eyes.   
  
"Thank you, Dean." Hermione returned his smile and walked with him down to the Great Hall.   
  
Hermione took her seat in between Ron and Harry and waited for dinner to start. Normally, dinner began promptly at eight, but tonight the golden plates did not arrive.   
  
"What's happening?"   
  
"Where's Dumbledore?"   
  
"What's going on?"   
  
"Where are all of the teachers?"   
  
Questions were being whispered among the house tables. It was true, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Linz, and Snape were all absent. Hermione looked to the other teachers. They all displayed wide and happy grins. "Something's going to happen, tonight." Hermione whispered to Harry.   
  
"You don't think it's an attack, do you?" asked Ron, going pale.   
  
"If it was, Ron, we would be in the dorms, not gathered together like a heard of cattle," answered Hermione, and Ron's face paled again.   
  
"If it's not an attack, then why is Dumbledore gone?"   
  
"I don't know."   
  
The commotion in the hall had risen to a loud roar until a single voice silenced them.   
  
"Students! I am sorry for being late." Dumbledore had arrived with McGonagall, Linz, and Snape. "I would like to make an announcement however; this Halloween we will be holding a costume ball for the arrival of Ministry Officials. Years four and up will only be allowed to attend. Thank you, and you may eat."   
  
Harry, Ron, and Hermione shot each other sideways glances, but decided to save their comments until after dinner.   
  
"Wow, a costume ball. Won't that be great, Hermione." Dean said quietly across the table.   
  
"I don't know, Dean. I'm not really that interested in going. I don't see the point in dances anymore. Besides, after the Yule Ball, I would still be happy even if I was never invited to a ball again."   
  
"Oh, that's too bad."   
  
Hermione's eyes were drawn back up to the staff table. Professor Snape and Linz were in a heated discussion. Professor Linz was pointing to a piece of parchment on the table between them. McGonagall was watching Hermione from her seat and smiled. Hermione looked away in time to catch Ron giving Dean a death glare.   
  
'This situation is getting out of hand,' thought Hermione. 'Ron is acting like a jealous boyfriend. He's not my boyfriend. I don't want a boyfriend.'   
  
Across the hall Hermione spotted Draco Malfoy eating his dinner and talking to Pansy Parkinson, the only girl in the school who was uglier than a blast-ended skrewt. I don't understand what he sees in her, besides the fact that she's easy. 'Plus, she's rich,' the little voice told her. 'You aren't rich, Hermione. Forget about Draco Malfoy. He means nothing to you. Look away, Hermione. Stay away.'   
  
_Stay away. Stay away from Draco Malfoy. He was evil. He was vermin. He would turn me over to Voldemort if it meant getting praise. Stay away from Draco Malfoy.   
  
I couldn't stay away though. I couldn't look away. I needed to know the truth about him. Was he really evil? Was he like his father? I wanted to believe that he was different. I needed to believe it. The voice in my head told me to look away from him. The little voice told me to keep away, but I needed him in a way I didn't understand yet. I would though._   
  
Hermione gave into her little voice and turned to look away when Malfoy looked up. Their eyes met. Gray steel on her innocent brown. Neither wanted to look way. Hermione's voice was screaming louder and louder. 'Look away, Hermione! Look away!' She couldn't look away. He was calling to her, speaking to her with his eyes. He looked so kind and gentle. His eyes held so many secrets Hermione might never learn. 'I need to try! I need to try to learn, for him and for myself.'   
  
"Hermione?" Harry asked, his eyebrows raised.   
  
"What?" Hermione asked, her concentration broken.   
  
"I asked if you could help me with my Astronomy homework. Hermione, you've been very distracted lately. Are you sure you're not coming down with something?"   
  
"No, I'm fine. I've just had a lot on my mind." She looked back to the Slytherin table, Malfoy was talking to Pansy again. "Sure, Harry, I'd be happy to help you."   
  
"Student's gather round 'ere. I 'ave a right nice treat fur yas. Today we'll be studyin' Graphorns. Now, don be frighten they're completely 'armless." Hagrid was standing next to a large cage containing the purple and gray creature, it's long horns sticking out through the bars.   
  
"Hagrid, they're really dangerous. You aren't going to let it out of it's cage are you," Hermione whispered in uncertaintity.   
  
"Don' worry, 'ermione. I know wha I'm doin'." The students were all looking at each other uneasily. Hagrid opened the cage and pulled the Graphorn out of it's cage with a large leash and collar around it's neck. "Now, then . . . you kidz gather roun'. The Graphorn got these two big 'horns, see? an' they use 'em fer huntin'. Professer Snape uses em fer 'is potions that 'ave to do with blood."   
  
'Blood?' Hermione asked herself. 'Why would a Graphorn's horn be used in blood potions?'   
  
Suddenly, something caught the graphorn's eye. It reared it's head and ripped the leash from Hagrid's hand. The graphorn gave a loud cry and ran straight for Hermione, who was standing towards the rear of the class, but to distracted to realize she was in danger.   
  
"'Ermione look out!" Hagrid yelled.   
  
"What?" Before Hermione knew what was happening she was knocked to floor, landing hard on her wrist. The world was spinning when Hermione opened her eyes to look in the direction of the voices calling to her. She could barely make out the large form of Hagrid running after the graphorn.   
  
"Hermione, are you okay?" Ron asked, and bent down to help her up.   
  
"I'm fine, Ron. My wrist hurts though."   
  
"It's better than being trampled or stabbed by that graphorn."   
  
"Who was it that saved me?" Ron didn't answer, he just turned to look at the crowd of students gathered in a small circle. Hermione pushed past them to see who was in the center.   
  
"Oh no . . ." Draco Malfoy was laying on the ground, a hole in his side from where he was stabbed by the graphorn's horn. Hermione bent down beside him, cradling her broken wrist. "Draco?" He didn't move. "Someone get help! Fetch Madam Pomfrey!"   
  
_I was so terrified that he was never going to wake up. The world stopped for me when I saw Draco's body lying on the ground, his face paler than I had ever seen it. Tears were pouring from my eyes and I thought I was going to die. I thought he was going to die. I didn't understand the feeling. I mean, when Harry or Ron was in trouble I was frightened for them, but this was something else. This was a different feeling._   
  
"Everyone get out of the way. Students, please move aside." McGonagall was screaming and moving people out of the way, Professor Linz by her side.   
  
"Where is the graphorn?" Linz asked urgently.   
  
"He ran that way," Harry said and pointed in the direction of the Forbidden Forest.   
  
"Oh great . . ." Linz mumbled and ran after Hagrid.   
  
"Miss Granger, come with me. _Mobilius corpus!_" Draco's body rose from the ground and was floating toward the school in front of McGonagall. His body was a rag doll in the air. Hermione followed numbly. Tears were falling freely and Hermione didn't know if it was from the pain in her wrist or the sadness in her heart.   
  
"Put him here, Minerva. I have everything ready for him. Miss Granger, wait here." Madam Pomfrey said as she pushed Hermione onto a bed and drew the curtains. Her view of Draco was blocked. Hermione could tell they were trying to be very careful about what they said while fixing Draco's body, but Hermione could catch phrases such as, "Oh my stars!", "This is going to take time to heal", and "How could Hagrid . . ."   
  
A few moments later Professor Snape arrived with a potion in his hand. "Drink this, Miss Granger. It's for your head." Hermione drank the bitter liquid quickly. "Now, let me see your wrist. _Imendium!_" Hermione was grateful to Snape for the first time in her life. She flexed her wrist and smiled slightly. Hermione remembered how, the last time she was here, Ron told her about Dean and what he said. It made Hermione laugh. Snape swept out of the room as fast as he entered, almost as if he knew what she was thinking.   
  
"There . . . finished." Hermione lifted her head to get up, but felt very tired. She wanted to ask about Draco. 'Would he be okay soon? How bad off was he?', but she never got the chance. Sleep was overpowering her and she let sleep take her.   
  
It was dusk when Hermione awoke. Once again Harry and Ron were sitting beside her.   
  
"Hermione, I'm so glad you aren't hurt!" Ron said and hugged her.   
  
"We have to get back to the dorms soon. It's almost curfew." Harry whispered.   
  
"Well, you should go. I don't want you getting into trouble because of me."   
  
"Yeah . . . well like Ron said, I'm glad you're okay." Harry left after taking a long look at Malfoy.   
  
"You'd better go too, Ron."   
  
"I'm going, Hermione, but I have to ask you something."   
  
"Go ahead."   
  
"Hermione, you are my best friend and I was so scared when I saw that graphorn coming at you today." Ron took her wrist in his hands and kissed it, his ears turning pink. "Will you go with me to the Halloween Ball."   
  
Hermione was shocked. He finally got up the courage to ask. "Yes, Ron. I would love to go to the ball with you."   
  
Hermione had never seen Ron smile so wide before. "Thanks, Hermione. I have to go. Feel better soon!"   
  
After Ron left Hermione was alone in the dark. Everything was cold around her. She pulled the covers up around her and looked over towards Draco's bed.   
  
He was lying there, looking dead. It was a great relief to Hermione to know that he wasn't. She got out of bed and tiptoed over to him.   
  
"Malfoy?" She whispered. "Malfoy, wake up."   
  
His eyes fluttered, open. "Granger?"   
  
"How are you feeling, Malfoy?"   
  
"Like I was run over by a graphorn. How are you?"   
  
"Better than you, but I wouldn't be if you hadn't pushed me out of the way. I just . . . wanted. . . to say thank you. You saved my life. I'm in debt to you." She smiled at him and another tear rolled down her cheek. She knew he would never say, 'You're welcome.'   
  
A strange impulse came over Hermione she and took her hand and stroked his cheek. Malfoy's eyes went wide with shock. After a moment he leaned in slightly to her touch and his features softened slightly. More tears and Malfoy tilted his head like a confused puppy. Before Hermione could back out or think, she bent down and lightly brushed her lips against his. The contact lasted was for only a moment, but seemed to last forever. Heat flooded her chilled body. Hermione stood there, attempting to think of what to say, but could find no words except to whisper, "I'm sorry . . ." She didn't let Malfoy respond and quickly got back into her bed.   
  
I can't believe I did that. I just kissed Draco Malfoy. How could I do that? It was just a friendly kiss, though. A friendly kiss given to someone who isn't my friend. He's going to torture me forever for this. Oh no! What if he ells his idiot goonies and they tell everyone else. What will Ron and Harry think. Poor Ron, he would be heart broken. The night I tell him I will go with him to the ball I kiss his worst enemy.   
  
_It's kind of sad that after kissing the one person in the world who really hated me, I just wanted to kiss him again. I thought about Ron, and wondered if he would ever give me that tingle in my stomach like Draco did. I barely slept that night._   
  
"Everybody! Settle down! Come on, get ready because today we're demonstrating the curses," Professor Linz said, and she walked to the front of the class.   
  
Hermione glanced over to Draco. He was sitting with his head lowered, staring at the floor.   
  
"Mr. Malfoy, do you feel up to this?" He nodded. "Well, then why don't we have you and Miss Granger go first."   
  
_I clutched my wand and got up in front of the class. Draco looked so pale I didn't think I could curse him. I figured if I did, I would kill him. Then I remembered that none of the curses we learned were too life threatening._   
  
He was determined. I'll give him that. He didn't want anyone to know he was weak. If I didn't curse him, who knows what he would have done. Well, actually I do. He would have flown the Imperius on me as hard as he could. He couldn't look weak in front of the others. No, that would be the end of the world to him.   
  
Hermione raised her wand. Draco's eyes held back the fear that only she could se. He hid it behind hatred. A hatred for mudbloods and everyone else. "_Locomotor Mortis_."   
  
He tried to keep his balance as best he could, but he was fighting a losing battle. He landed on the chair that was behind him and continued to glare at Hermione. "_Finite Incantantum_."   
  
Hermione braced herself for the curse that was about to come. She waited, Malfoy was making her sweat. Then it hit her, "_Locomotor Mortis_." She put her hands in front of her and landed on her, almost healed, wrist. It throbbed painfully.   
  
Hermione felt so stupid. Even though her instinct told her to put out her hands, she thought Malfoy might catch her. Hermione berated herself for thinking such a thing. Why would Malfoy catch her? Then she started to rationalize it. 'He would catch me,' she told herself, 'because it would make him seem like a hero, just like he was for saving my life. He wouldn't catch me because it would make him seem like a mudblood lover if he did.' The mudblood hater won out.   
  
Malfoy muttered the counter curse and she stood. Anger, embarrassment, and hatred coursed through her veins. She wanted to humiliate him. He was doing this on purpose. He was a bastard for it and Hermione was going to teach him a lesson.   
  
"_IMPERIO!_" Hermione poured all of her humiliation and pain into the curse. She watched his hand raise and the look of shock on his face. Hermione grinned evilly and watched Malfoy slap himself over and over again. His cheek was turning a bright red.   
  
Professor Linz stood behind Malfoy with a stunned expression. It was working. Malfoy told her before that she didn't hate him enough. She was proving him wrong right now. She was showing the world how much Hermione Granger hated Draco Malfoy and liked hating him!   
  
"Miss Granger! That's enough!" Professor Linz shouted. Hermione was so lost in the joy of watching Draco Malfoy slap his face that she forgot she was even doing it. Hermione lowered her wand and Draco stopped beating up his face. "Class, you're dismissed."   
  
While all of the students, including Draco, walked out of the classroom whispering feverishly amongst themselves Hermione stood still, her eyes fixed to the floor. 'What's happening to me? I'm becoming as cruel as Draco Malfoy. I humiliated him in front of everyone. I have become a _Slytherin_.'   
  
Tears were forming quickly as Hermione gathered her things and ran from the class. Professor Linz was in the same position from the time class started.   
  
_I hated myself. I wanted to rationalize it and say that I was doing it in self defense. I wanted to say that Draco had pushed me to far and that I finally lost it, but what I wanted to say wasn't the truth. He hadn't pushed me too far, yet, and he didn't hurt me enough to do what I did. Yes, he hurt me, but I was hurt because some part of me wanted to believe he cared. I'm not talking head over heals, I would die for you kind of caring. I mean, I will at least feel a sliver of remorse when you die, kind of caring. Draco didn't feel any of that and it hurt. He hurt me and I hurt him back. That was why I was a Slytherin._   
  
The canopy was a darker red than Hermione remembered it. It seemed like such a long time since she laid down on her bed and looked without really looking. Looked at something without really thinking about what she was looking at. You can see so much more when you aren't looking for things to see. For instance, Hermione was trying to see Ron's face in her mind and she was trying to imagine Ron in that special way, but she couldn't. All she saw was how horrible she was in Defense Against the Dark Arts. "I should go apologize to Professor Linz," she whispered to the darkness.   
  
Hermione skipped dinner and had been in her room since class ended. Her stomach was growling. She thought about taking a quick detour to the kitchens, but decided against it. 'I have to apologize for my behavior, then I can eat. Oh gosh, I sound like Ron!'   
  
The door to the DADA class was cracked open and Hermione was about to knock when she heard hush voices inside.   
  
"It isn't working, Professor. I know that we all had high hopes that the result of this project would be more promising, but . . ."   
  
"Vespa, you were once my student. Don't you believe they can do this?" Professor McGonagall asked. Hermione was struck dumb for a moment. Vespa? Could that be Professor Linz's first name.   
  
"I don't understand what being your student has to do with whether I think a couple of students can accomplish what you and Dumbledore are hoping for."   
  
"Because I believed in you the same way I believe in them."   
  
"And I can't discover the key! Not one student has been able to figure it out either, not even a clue. I have little hope we can fix this."   
  
"In times such as these hope is all that we have, Vespa."   
  
"I remember being in your class years ago and I couldn't get the Anamagi spell to work you said, 'Think about what it means to be not you. Think about what it means to be the animal.' I'm trying really hard to think about what it means to be these kids now, but I don't think they can win."   
  
"They need us. They need what we can teach them."   
  
"I will teach them everything Dumbledore thinks they will need to know, but against Avada Kedavra I can't help them. We can't help them."   
  
"I know that." Hermione could hear items being moved around the room.   
  
"I need to know one thing, Professor. Is he really as important as Dumbledore makes him out to be?"   
  
"He could change all of this. We have taken the first step, now all he has to do is leap."   
  
"Is he anything at all like his father? If so then I won't bet on him leaping."   
  
There was a long pause and Hermione heard someone moving toward the door Hermione was listening behind. She let out a gasp of surprise, turned, and ran down the hall back to Gryffindor Tower.   
  
_I couldn't sleep that night. All I thought about was what Professor McGonagall and Professor Linz were talking about. Linz had been McGonagall's student and she was trying to discover something about Avada Kedavra? Who had to take the leap? _


End file.
